Oh well. =D. I love everyone.

I would.

You know what, I fully changed my mind about our plans for next Friday. I just realized how hard I've been trying to avoid that kinda stuff. And I know if I give in to temptation, all I'll feel after that is regret. So yeah.

Wow so how is second semester coming along for you? Mine's not so bad, actually. Pretty easy courses. And stuff. What is new with you?

Take care,
         Misha.

And I dont understand. I only tell you today that you treat me like shit, and now you're saying that I always have a problem with you. Maybe I'm just blind but I don't even understand why you're mad at me. You say you're not mad but then you pass all these sarcastic comments which leave me thinking. And then you tell me to forget it. How am I supposed to forget it?

Maybe you're not the heartless one out of us.

Two days of school left. Yeah.

I don't mean to betray you or lie to you. No, not at all. I just want to see you happy.
((Ifyougaveafuckyouwouldaskmewhat'sup.))

You know, I actually make an effort to like...totally ignore the past and our 'beef' or whatever the hell it is. But it seems you don't want to let it go, man. Aright. Do what you want. Who am I to talk anyways, right?

Mood dead. Moods die so easily. But no, I'm the happiest person alive =). I love everyone. Everyone. Ev-er-y-one.

Anyways, my tummy hurts like a mother. Which is weird. I did a lot of sit-ups a while ago? I'm going to go to bed now (11.30) like a healthy person should.

Goodnight, beautiful, beautiful people. <3 <3

=).

Dear you,
You never understood me. I tried so hard to be a good friend to you. To be loyal to you. I betrayed you once and I felt like shit for doing so, but after that I really did try. Even before that, actually, I cared about you so much. You know, I gave up so many people/relationships/shit for you. But it doesn't even matter. I don't know, I guess you've always looked at me the wrong way or something, although you 'love' me.

You know what though, I love you so much. And I would never try to hurt you intentionally. But I guess it's hard to gain someone's trust back, right? Although I've worked hard. But wow, you know how I talked about having "the" (perfect) friend? Well I dont know, sometimes I think it's you. Like the astonishingly perfectly amazing friend. But I guess you don't feel that way about me at all (far from that, probably).

And sometimes, I feel like I need you so much. I need you to be there for me. And sometimes you're not. But that's okay, because you have a life too. And you know what, I dont even know what my point is but right now I feel so..heartbroken and wow, I haven't felt this way in so long. I didn't know someone else (who is not a guy) could make me feel so crappy. And I can't believe you could say that I wasn't "there" for you. Because either I'm a terrible person or you need to open your eyes and look a bit harder. I can't say which one is true, but either way, it's just really sad.

I've realized though, no one is worth it. I guess you just learned that before I did.

-Love, Mish.

p.s. I'm not letting your "thing" have me.

And we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky.

I'm sorry I can't help you,
I cannot keep you safe.
I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way.

We can't fight gravity
on a planet that insists
(that love is like falling
and falling is like this).

-Falling is Like This.

today- not so good. a lot of things were bothering me at school but now i'm okay. so yeah.

tomorrow is happy day. be happy.

Anyways so today I took like a piece of coffee cake and stuffed it all in my mouth. And it was fun, so I repeated this action once again. And then I ended up getting high off of it(?). Yeah, weird but true. Hahaahah it was a lot of fun though, probably the best thing that happened all day. 'Cause after that, I got an 80 on my civics essay (that's not good enough), my 'best friend''s boyfriend told me to shut up (and she didn't say a thing back to him), and I felt rejected 'cause I tried to flirt with this guy but he seemed uninterested (when usually it's the other way around). So yeah, a pretty bad day but hey, there's still tomorrow.

Hmm, what should I wear tomorrow? *thinks* Okay yeah, I know what I'm gonna wear for the rest of the week.

We have a French unit test tomorrow. I haven't studied at all, but it's pretty easy so whatever.

Oh yeah I've decided to be a good girl. (meaning no boys, no juice, no smoking). mmYeah, it'll last a week at the most =P. Hahaa. No actually I decided against drinking/smoking/whatever a few weeks ago. That stuff sucks man. Tsk tsk.

This entry is so long, I must be really bored. My last entry was really long too, meaning my life must be pretty boring these days. Yup.

Literacy testing starts this Wednesday. Do I care? Nooooo.

The guy that got beat up went to our school a few years ago but got expelled like 2 or 3 years back. His name is Jaz or something. So now he's in the hospital in a critical condition. Supposedly, he's either gonna die or like stay in a comma for a long time and/or he's gonna become mentally retarded. Man.

The worst thing, though, is that I know the guy that did this. Like I don't know, I know people that have beef and shit and get into fights but like, wow..he almost killed someone.

So we all had to go to this party tonight, just as we started to have fun, this girl comes in and the first thing she says to me is "Oh yeah that guy is dead." I was like whoaaa and I went straight to my friend's room 'cause I needed alone time.

Two minutes later, my other friend comes in, sits on the floor, starts bawling. So I start sobbing too but we didn't say a word to each other. And then all the people realized that we were in the room crying so they all come in and then we're like go away and yeah. And the girl that told me the guy is dead is then like, "oh, no he's not dead..I juss found out he's not."

But like. Wow. And then everyone was like omg you guys dont ruin her party please and I felt pretty bad for ruining my friend's party like that so I stopped and I go outside and acted extremely perky and then I actually had fun but then I felt bad for having fun 'cause I felt that I shouldn't be enjoying anything. So yeah that was my day. I dunno it's not that big a deal but I totally broke down at the party. I don't know how I should be feeling now but I feel sorry for the guy who got beat up and his family. And I feel sorry for the "bad" guy's family, especially his mother.

I need to stop thinking.

heh, at least my other best friend was there! woo hoo, i havva friend.

So grade 10 is really not that bad. Actually I like it so far. Not in a good mood tonight though, not sure why. I told my friend to slap me if I ever talk about a guy again.

So like how many guys do I like, you ask? Many. A lot. Too many, maybe. Possibly. But this way you balance out the fun and the pain, right? I mean, you can't get hurt this way. Correct? Oui.

Ugh I feel like shit tonight and I don't even know why. Maybe I just need some sleep. MAYBE I JUST NEED A HUG!!

Remember, the only things we need sometimes are chilly nights and warmer thighs, 'cause there's nothing like being held.

Sorry.

So now what? I don't know. I'm being replaced in many ways. So I just don't know.

Don't ask me about tomorrow because right now I'm feeling lost. -saves the day.

Sorry for all the supershort entries. I'll try to make this one lengthy.

I feel alone.
I feel lonely.
I feel lost.
I feel needy.
I feel...like I want db. Still. Haha, I'm not surprised.